she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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