I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
where am i from again
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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