I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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