Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
