Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
