upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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