we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
