apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
