ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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