dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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