So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
