u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
