i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
