It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
