he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my sisters under your porch take her home
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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