hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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