It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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