The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize