Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
