woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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