he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
