White coat. Heels.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i just google imaged poop.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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