He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
