I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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