well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
