Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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