I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
