I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Be still, my beating vagina.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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