why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
as a side note pls kill me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
