cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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