a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
