but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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