Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
