I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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