her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
