Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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