Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
