Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
