remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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