No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
