Having a random hookup so left but love u
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
