bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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