we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
