I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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