There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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