He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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