At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
