why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
