The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He shit in the fireplace
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
