she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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