She said her name was "party"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
